Counselors must learn in a counselling situation to look out for certain signals to know if they are going to a dead end or an highway into the future. Signs of a dead end are basically two:
- When the counsellee keeps attempting to generalise his/her peculiar situation. This happens when someone thinks everyone is in his kind of situation. There are actually two ranges in our social spheres:
- The micro world, where individuals have their personal problems or prospects in their own personal situation.
The macro-world or the wider society where everything happens at the same time and in the same way to everyone in the society.
When personal experiences are interpreted as the issues in the wider society, change will never take place in that personal experience until he thinks differently.
- When the counselled has his/her mind made up on maintaining practices that possibly contributed to the existing problem. You had a 1st class from university and alongside that have a very bad personal culture. You are are counselled to look into your dress culture but you insist that the 1st class makes the difference. A counsellor should be able to see why no one would give that persons a job. If he is not willing to change, you may not be able to help him beyond remembering him in prayers for the Lord to tough the heart and help the person to see..
Willingness to use the help you offer is a sign of prospect in counselling. This doesn’t mean that the person being counselled cannot ask question or come up with some disputations. Intellectual engagement might be necessary.
But when the heart is stubbornly made up, you may need to check with the Holy Spirit in your heart to know if you should continue. The Apostle Paul had to depart certain locations, shaking the dust of the place of his sandals; He also was instructed by the Lord not to leave Corinth, as there were prospects there despite the disputations.
Even if you attempt to ‘cast spirits out’ of someone who is not ready to change his mind, they soon will find their ways back into him, since by his way of thinking there is a ready stage or foothold for them in such a life.
The mind that is not ready to change is one that you mAy not be able to help.
Counsel to let someone see what might be working against him. If he is not ready to agree, courteously let him go and spent your time on more profitable situations.
Jesus was only able to change those who used his teachings when he was here. He could not help everyone because of their unbelief – disagreement with the words He shared with them.